I Swear by the Moon
by Alcarcalime Losse
Summary: RLSS What if... Remus and Severus had been together at the time of the Shrieking Shack incident in their fifth year? SLASH


Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters you see here...

* * *

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore looked over the tops of his glasses at the three boys gathered in his office. Two of them were glaring heatedly at the other – he only wished it hadn't taken this to get these two to agree on something. Sirius didn't notice the others' looks, he was staring down at his feet in shame – he now realised what an idiot he had been and how lucky he was that no one was hurt. He was sure Remus would never forgive him for this.

Severus finally understood, understood first of all where Remus had been disappearing to every month and why he seemed so shy and eager to avoid confrontation, he understood why Remus wouldn't talk to him about where he went and why he valued his friends as much as he did. He was shocked, of course he was – there was no way that someone could go through that experience and not be shocked – but more than that, he was glad to know what was going on. He could guess why Remus hadn't told him – he suspected he would have done the same thing – but this didn't change how he felt about Remus, or at least, not in a negative way. Severus started and looked over as the Headmaster spoke:

"I trust this will remain a secret, Severus?" He asked with his eyes twinkling – he knew, he had to, why else would he be looking at him like that?

Severus nodded, "Of course, I wouldn't do that to Remus." He smirked internally as he felt the other two boys look at him in shock, unable to think of a reason he would act that way.

The Headmaster seemed pleased with his reaction and now turned his attention to Sirius.

"Mr Black, I am most disappointed in your actions tonight, I expected more of you than that." Sirius looked down at his feet again, ashamed to have acted as his family would have, as he swore to himself he never would. "I'm sure you understand now how disastrous the consequences of your actions could have been, you were very lucky Mr Potter was there to remedy the situation."

"Yes, sir."

"Very well, we'll discuss your punishment later." He glanced at the sky outside then turned back to look at them. "Mr Lupin should be in the hospital wing by now. Off you all go."

They all left the office and headed off towards the hospital wing in silence.

* * *

When they arrived, Remus was already laid in one of the beds closest to the door, Madame Pomfrey hurrying around frantically collecting various potions from the cupboards situated around the room and casting a multitude of healing charms, looking quite distressed. She shot them a quick glance as they came in but continued her work, Dumbledore had informed her of what had happened before she went to collect Remus from the Shrieking Shack so that she wouldn't be surprised at how much worse his condition was than usual – aggravated by the human presence he had sensed in the Shack. 

The three boys took seats by Remus' bed – James and Severus on either side and Sirius further down towards his feet. James took a piece of parchment from his pocket and scrawled a quick note on it before putting it away again.

Madame Pomfrey put a steaming Goblet on the bedside table. "Get him to drink this when he wakes," she said softly before leaving the room, going into her office.

Silence reigned. No one said a word, all too engrossed in their own thoughts to speak.

After what seemed like hours, but was more likely only minutes, the door to the hospital wing opened and a boy of their age entered, curious. He looked around, saw them and sat down by Sirius, looking suspiciously over at Severus before speaking.

"I got your message, James," Peter said. "What's going on?"

"Sirius, you explain," answered James coldly, not even glancing over as he spoke.

Sirius explained to Peter what had happened, what he had done, faltering every now and then and speaking softly as though saying it out loud would make it real, not some horrible dream that he would wake up from soon.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes to see the four boys gathered around his bedside all looking at him, concerned. He could feel the tension in the air. 

"Uh... guys, what's going on? Why are you all here?"

Severus handed him the goblet, no longer steaming, "Drink this first."

Remus complied, confused. Why were they not arguing and why had none of the other Marauders said anything about Severus being there too?

Remus handed the empty goblet back to Severus, who put it back on the table before taking Remus' hand in his own. James raised an eyebrow at this, Remus noted, but didn't say anything of it which was a relief as he didn't feel very much like explaining just now – he felt much worse than he usually did after the full moon. Which was strange...

"What happened?" he asked more firmly this time. James and the others looked over at Sirius who wrung his hands a few times before looking up again.

"Well... You see... The thing is..." he stopped, took a deep breath then continued quickly, blurting it out, "Last night Snape was looking for you and I just got angry and kind of blurted out where you were and how to get into the Shack and I'm really sorry Moony it just came out I didn't mean to do it." He stopped and looked away again.

"You... what?" asked Remus, trying to work out what Sirius had said. Then it hit him suddenly. "Sirius! How could you do that? Do you have any idea what could have... Is everyone okay? Did I...?" He trailed off, unable to voice his fears.

James answered him, "No one was hurt. We're all fine. For now." he added, glaring over at Sirius.

"But how? What happened?"

Severus took over the tale of what had happened last night, squeezing Remus' hand as he turned to look at him. "I, obviously, did what he said. I just wanted to find you, to find out what was happening to you. So, I went down there." He stopped as James continued the explanation.

"Meanwhile, Sirius had apparently come to his senses and told me what he had done, so I ran down to get Snape out of there. Just in time, too..."

Remus paled at that and looked over at Severus, sitting on his left. "You... you saw?" he asked very quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Severus nodded, now holding Remus' hand in both of his. "Yes, I did. But it doesn't change anything. I only went because I was worried about you – I wanted to know what was going on with you..."

"And now you know."

"And now I know." Severus agreed, looking reluctant to say anything else while the others were still here.

Remus looked over at James questioningly, "Did anything else happen or is that it?"

"Nothing else, really. Dumbledore knows – we were all in his office earlier. Oh, Pomfrey knows too. But that's it – no one else will find out and Dumbledore's obviously not going to get the Ministry involved. All in all, we were quite lucky, it could have been much worse."

"In that case, could you give us a minute please?"

"Of course." James, Sirius and Peter left, leaving Remus and Severus alone in the hospital wing.

"Remus, I told you that nothing could change how I feel about you and I meant it. I'm glad to know what's been going on – I was so worried and you wouldn't tell me anything..."

"I'm sorry Severus. I wanted... part of me wanted to tell you, but I... I was scared. Of how you would react. Maybe that was wrong of me but that's all I've ever known. Other than James, Peter, Sirius and Professor Dumbledore, everyone who's ever found out has responded with disgust, fear, hatred. I just couldn't stand to have you look at me like that, like you hated me." Remus looked away again.

Severus thought about this for a minute, he could definitely understand the reasoning – he wished it didn't have to be that way, but there was nothing he could do about it, other than be there for Remus. Then something Remus had said struck him. " 'All your life'? How old were you, Remus?"

"I was four. I don't really remember much about it. Just this sudden pain in my side and then waking up in St. Mungo's, my parents crying as someone asked them if they would prefer for me to be 'put out of my misery'." Remus answered bitterly. "Most people are like that, or worse."

"How could someone even suggest that? You were just a kid..." Severus responded in outrage. "But I think I can understand why you wouldn't want to tell me, why you wouldn't want to tell anyone..." He trailed off, Remus must have told his friends, how else would they know? He had to admit that he felt a little disappointed, jealous even that Remus had told them but not him. Didn't Remus trust him?

How he was feeling must have shown on his face because Remus seemed to know what he was thinking: "I didn't tell them, by the way. They worked it out themselves, second year." He paused and looked more closely at Severus, who was still holding his hand and looking in no way repulsed or disgusted at touching a so called 'Dark Creature', before continuing. "Anyway, I guess I'm relieved that you know now – I don't like having to always lie to people about it, especially those I care about."

Severus nodded, looking down at their clasped hands as he did so. "Do you think they noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

Severus held up their hands in clarification.

"Oh... I know James did, he didn't say anything though. The others are probably wondering why you wouldn't tell anyone. James has probably told them by now." He glanced over to the door out of the hospital wing, beyond which his friends were likely waiting and paled slightly before relaxing again. "Actually, it's not too bad that they've found out now, is it? We were going to have to tell them eventually so I guess this was a good way of letting them find out and knowing you wouldn't do anything to hurt me." Remus paused to think, "They're probably all quite shocked by this but judging from the lack of screaming from outside, I think they'll cope with it."

Severus agreed, "They do seem like they'll stick by you no matter what, even if they are idiotic at times."

Remus started to laugh at this comment but stopped as this caused him more pain. "Well, as bad as this could have been, it turned out quite well – now everyone knows everything I didn't know how to tell them and everyone's fine about it." He collapsed back against the pillows set up behind him. "I'm relieved – I didn't want to lose any of you – I don't know what I'd do if that happened..."

"Hopefully you'll never have to find out. You won't have to because of me, anyway, I..." He paused, closing his eyes briefly as if trying to settle some internal debate before taking a deep breath and continuing, "I said earlier that nothing could change how I feel about you and that's true because... well... I think I love you Remus."

He stopped and looked away nervously, as if scared of rejection after having admitted this for the first time after having been together for almost a year.

Rejection, however, was not forthcoming. Instead, Severus felt a pair of lips meet his own and, after they pulled away, heard a whispered "I love you too" that made him smile gently, ignoring the three rather shocked faces looking in from the hallway.


End file.
